AZT 2019 Trail Journals

At the Southern Terminus of the Arizona Trail

DAY 0, big fat chimichanga

March 3, Miles hiked 4.5, camped 2.5

In Tucson. Getting packed. Reading notes. Feeling like I know little about what I’m about to do. But really what’s there to know except where your next water is and your next food stop? I’ve got that. I’m good. 

7:39 pm and I’m about to go to sleep without dinner because I’m still full from a massive chimichanga I had on the way to the trail head with Guac. She’s a 2016 pct pal. Lives in pategonia. Got me from Tucson around 1pm and we drove here, stopping for food, and hiked the 4ish mile round trip from the parking lot to the border together. Parted ways as the sun set. Gorgeous views but I’m not emotionally attached to them yet. They don’t feel like mine. This doesn’t feel like my trail. But I’m eager to get my ass kicked. To see what it brings. Camped on a windy ridge just up a little bit from the parking lot and am aiming for a full day tomorrow. I’m tired already just thinking about it. Snow up on the peak. Hiking up to 9k feet. Elevation already has me winded at 6k. My pack feels massive. Bigger than it has. I’ll blame that on the chimichanga, my week off full of fatty foods, and the elevation. I weigh 170lbs as of yesterday and will weigh myself on the same scale when I get back to see if there is any change. I just want to feel lighter. I know I will. I was already feeling that way after a week on the pct. It’s windy windy windy up here but there was literally nowhere else to camp out of the wind besides the parking lot. Saw my first animal already. 3 deer. Saw another view of the border. This time a barbed wire fence where I was standing and miles and miles of fencing towards the horizon. 


DAY 1, sprained ankle, a drive to finish

March 4, Camped 20.2, Miles hiked 17.7

Dad’s birthday. 64. I’m so glad he’s still here. I’m at mile 15.4. Was feeling good. And about 2 miles ago rolled my right ankle. The kind of roll that pops and send you flying because you instantly know it’s bad and no weight should be on it. Fear surged. Fuck. This hurts. Did I break it? Take a deep breath. Let the pain move. Look. Stand up. Got super dizzy and felt like I was gonna barf. Such a huge surge of adrenaline. Did what I could. Ate. Drank. Wrapped her up. Took 400mg ib. Magic pill. Walked to water. And now I’m soaking it in an ice ice cold creek. A God send. So peaceful. It’s swollen, but not too bad yet. I think she’s just going to be tender for a while. First full day. Ouch. Really hoping it doesn’t cause me grief the whole trail. I’m feeling attached now. This is my trail. I want it. I want to finish. I want the hardship. Already have met 3 hikers. They are taking a slower pace than me so I probably won’t see too much of them as time rolls on. I want to aim for 20 a day. They are 10ers. It’s ok though. I can tell they aren’t my people. But the company has been nice. Surprising. Had no idea if I’d see folks. I think this trail is starting to be more traveled. 

Pushed on to mile 20.2. Cruisy. Smooth. Ankle doesn’t feel great. Hopefully not too bad tomorrow. Was going to stop sooner but there were so many huge cows! I thought I’d be trampled in the night! Hiking past cairns as the sunset through the trees and tall grass was a lovely end to the day. Such a hard first 6 miles, then down down down to a nice cruisy last 10 even with a twisted ankle. 

The trail didn’t feel like “mine” until I woke up to the sun warming my tent. I love the mornings. Rubbing my sleep crusted eyes, seeing the sunlight play with the grasses and mountains, drinking coffee and resting in the newness of the day.
Even though I’ve solo hiked the pct, I only camped alone TWICE on that trail! Well, I’ve got that number beat now! The thought of camping alone before that hike scared the shit out of me, not gonna lie. But. The more you do the things that scare you, the less they do. Funny how that happens, eh?

There are still little fears that sneak up being alone in the wilderness and when I catch myself getting anxious about being a solo female hiker, I repeat these two simple things:

Most people are good (because people scare me more than animals). I am not afraid (thanks chey stray), I only need to be alert and aware. It works. I love this.


DAY 2, did not feel smooth

March 5, Camped 40.7, miles hiked 20.5

Damn. I forgot how hard it can feel and how slow I move when I get hot. Didn’t help that I was trying to baby my ankle all day. Did not feel smooth. But I have to remember that averaging 2 miles an hour with a hurt ankle and hot weather at 5/6k feet with 20 extra lbs on your body when you’re new to the hiking game after a while off is nothing to scoff at. It takes work. I wasn’t super hungry from the heat and probably should have eaten more. My mood crashed hard the hour before camp. I was in pain though, too, and just really wanted to find a nice spot to call home. Which can be surprisingly hard when the sun sets at 6:30 and it’s dark by 7. So many cows and poop and then picky pokey things. At one point I thought I’d found a home and then there was a massive swollen dead raccoon (I think) and it creeped me out so I had to push on another mile. I didn’t want to sleep near something dead and then wake up to coyotes or worse bears and cougars eating it. Met some hikers I liked the vibe of but they are seasoned and moving faster than me. More like 25 to 30 a day. Darwin. Nice guy. I chatted with him at lunch while I soaked my ankle in a nice cold creek for an hour. I’m a little worried about it but I’m sure it’ll be fine as long as I’m careful. I just keep thinking about how Cheesy’s was worse and she made it to Canada. Just don’t want something else to flair up by walking weird to compensate for the limited movement. My legs hurt like I’ve worked hard. Muscles. Come. Wish I had thigh gap so I could hike in short shorts. But nope. Thigh rub equals owie. 


DAY 3, The fall

March 6 (and 7th and 8th!)

Pategonia mile 51, miles hiked 7ish

Was cruising in, having a good morning. Thinking how great it was that my ankle was doing ok. Thinking I’d have lunch and coffee in town, shower, say hi to Guac, and get back on trail. No real break needed. Just half the day. Save some money. And then bam. 3 tenths of a mile from the road to town I tripped on a big jagged bolder and rather than try to catch myself and barrel off a brush/cactus/bolder strewn ledge in the direction that I was falling, I dove for the trail, hitting my knee on some nice and sharp edges of a rock. I nearly fell off the trail anyway, but a tree caught my legs, thank you God. The fall would have been much nastier if not. Scary. It was scary. So, that amounted to 4 stitches and a swollen and stiff knee. No quick stop. Got the stitches. Stayed the night. Stayed a full day. Stayed another night. Stayed another full day. And now, now I’m on trail. It’s not perfect. It’s still stiff and doesn’t have full range of motion, but I can walk, so I’m walking. 


DAY 6, pee pants

March 9, Camped 66.7, miles hiked 15.7ish

I’m not sure how far I actually hiked today because there was a reroute and this really nice older local couple drove me up the road a little ways. Regardless, I hiked with a sore knee and a sore ankle and I made it pretty far on some hard terrain. I’m happy with it. I kept the pace to 2 mph tops and had to go really slow and carefully on any downhill with loose gravel or dirt. I really just can’t risk falling on my knee again. The day went fast. The reroute was strange with just colored tags to follow. Sometimes a trail sometimes a road sometimes a wash…It was fun and often tricky with the bum limbs. But the rest of it was walking on a dirt forest service roads for a lot of the day. Pretty. Steep. Quiet. I had lunch next to a creek and now I’m camped next to one. 2 other hikers near by. The sound of the water is so soothing. I wish I didn’t have these injuries to deal with. I just want to fly! To be free to go hard! In time. My mind still thinks like I do when I’m fit and the trail is smooth. I’m on a rocky trail and I’m a little fit and I keep peeing on myself Jesus. I peed all over my pants earlier because a full squat hurts my knee. And I just peed outside of of the tent and then fucking stepped in it. Now I have a wet foot. So. Annoying. I hear there’s trail magic up ahead. I’m excited about the trail tomorrow. It’s good to be out here. Pee and all. 


DAY 7, trail magic and extra hour

March 10, Camped 90, miles hiked 23.3

Its 7:35 and I’m sleepy. I want a different sleep shirt. Somethings soft and cozy. Cotton. Ha. Started my period first thing this morning and I’m grateful for that. No baby yet. Wish there was more water this section and toilets but what can ya do. The trail was beautiful today. My phone changed for daylight savings. No clue but funny thing is that Arizona doesn’t recognize it. So I woke up to my alarm at 5:30…which was really 4:30…and couldn’t understand why the sun wasn’t coming out. Started to wonder if the clocks changed but had no way of knowing. Forgot about it. Hiked out as the sun was rising. Beautiful trail skirting the side of the mountains and looking off into valleys and ravines. Smooth going. Lots of old mining things along the way. A tunnel. Mines. Interesting stuff to see. And mining camp. Then lunch had trail magic. Nice folks. Good snacks. 6 other hikers showed and gathered up. There are people here. No one I’m yet drawn to for jokes, but all nice. Found out at lunch it was actually an hour earlier than I thought it was which was really exciting. I had an extra hour added to my day out of nowhere. The afternoon was spent moving from dirt road to trail, trail to dirt road, winding casually through the foothills towards the flat stuffs off in the distance. So much golden grass. So memorizing. I felt like my mind was blank for most of the day. Like I wanted to think about things that mattered and I kept coming up short. Nothing interesting. Nothing pivotal. At one point I was getting tired and my thoughts went slightly negative. What if I never lose weight? Can I deal? I took a full body picture and I couldn’t believe how fat I looked. Such a huge gut when my pack’s on. It made me sad. I used to be so thin. I want that again. I like being thin. But what if I hike the next month and don’t get thin? Don’t change at all? What if I don’t learn anything? Seems unlikely but that’s where my head went. Also thought a lot about driving to Cali when this is done for a week of trail magic and then going to see family. I think mom would be upset. But if I stop getting hurt and start to pick up speed and strength, I could finish sooner and then have time for both before work. 


DAY 8, snowstorm doubts and doom

March 11 (and 12), camped TUCSON (road 106.6), hiked ?

Cruisy hiking today. Rolling trail with good tread that lets you look around a little bit. Started off in grasses and shrubs and it seemed like just one little ridge was all it took to change the plants entirely to fields of cactus and red clay earth. It was stunning. Clouds rolling in over the mountains ahead as bad weather started to form. Great day for being out, though. Sunny for the most part and not too hot. 16.6 miles done by 3 or a little before actually. Originally I was trying to get into Vail to get to the post office before it closed at 4pm. Couldn’t get a ride. So I missed the post office. Thought I’d just camp, get my stuff in the morning and then hike on, but the weather got into my head so I called up BryceCanyonBryce* and he came and got me, picking up two other hikers to drop in Tucson to wait out the storm as well. It’s interesting. My last two nights on trail I camped with people. We did our own thing in camp. No wild personalities, but kind. Sue. She’s 50 and really sweet. Camped with her both nights. Had a ton of leap frogging, which in some regards drives me nuts. Anyway, once we got to the road, the two I was there with hadn’t ever hitched before and really had no drive for it. I felt like it was up to me to get a ride for them because they had never hitched before and were nervous about it. They didn’t want to do it. 3 cars passed and they were like, welp, maybe we should just get uber. In some ways, I felt a little bit like a trail guide and I really don’t want to feel that way out here consistently. I do that for work, I don’t want to do it out here. It’s tiring trying to calm peoples nervous energy. It’s really easy to have it bleed into your own feelings. 

I spent the day in tucson going back and forth on what I should do and it was surprisingly hard to make a decision. In my mind, I was planning for a bad ass, two time thru hiker, that needs to just give it a go and turn back if it’s bad. And then I’d remember that I have a sprained ankle and that maybe it was a bad idea to head into an area with a foot or two of fresh snow. Back and forth back and forth. Your mind goes all over the place. One minute thinking you will never be able to hike this whole trail. The next worrying that you’ve lost your edge. The next afraid your injury will kick you off and you desperately want to hike the whole thing. To wanting to be alone to wanting trail friends to wondering if you’re any good at this to knowing you need to listen to your body to wondering if you’re just being a wimp and on and on and on. After calling up Mr. Fun and Cheesy* and hashing out my concerns, they both said that I should not worry about the money, get myself further up trail to flip flop while my ankle is still sore. So I’m going up to mile 300 and hiking south through the lower desert area which will put me up in the mountains in about 6 days from now, hopefully giving it some time to get crunchy or for my ankle to strengthen. 

VIEWS FOR DAYS!
With every new view comes a new level of appreciation for where I am right now and what I’ve gone through in life to get here, to these moments. I’m excited to discover the rest of this trail. The first 110 miles have been pretty neat, injuries and all.

*BryceCanyonBryce- a coworker living in Tucson. *Mr. Fun- cute hiker boy I met traveling and started getting to know just before the azt. Drinks planned to meet me once I reached the Grand Canyon *Cheesy- a close PCT pal from 2016


DAY 10, flip flop, not too hot!

March 13, The flip flop to 300.5

Camped mile 286.5, hiked 14

If I had to use one word for today it would be wow. Wow wow. It was just so beautiful. Got a ride at 9:30 up to mile 300 from an AT hiker soon to be AZT hiker named Backwards Hat. Really nice guy. Paid for the ride but it was worth it. Great trail chat convos. I really made the right choice skipping up here and heading south. It’s much better for my ankle and my nerves around hurting my ankle. Also, the weather is perfect for this section right now. Usually hot and exposed with little water and it’s the opposite right now. Stunning. Not too hot. I was just in awe of the miles I hiked today. Almost felt like Zion. But with saguaro. Huge cactus. I loved it. Passed 6 nobo hikers. A few of which I know I’d be pals with. Forgot my spoon somewhere. That’s annoying. Makes dinner just a slight pain I love my spoon! I’m camped on a saddle with amazing views all around me. Feeling lucky. Glad my ankle feels pretty good today. Tapped her up. Uphill is easier and there was more of that then down. 


DAY 11, I’m tired

March 14, Camped 262.2, hiked 23.716.6

Im tired. Today felt hard. Seems like 20 is my max right now.


DAY 12, chub rub

March 15, Camped 240.1, hiked 22.2

The day of the wind and thigh chafe. I was wearing my shorts and tried to tape my inner thighs to keep them from rubbing each other raw. What an ordeal. It kept peeling off. If only my thighs didn’t touch… 


DAY 13, harder than I remember

March 16, Camped 221.3, hiked 18.8 miles

Once again. Beat. Feet tired. Beat. I had trail magic today. Sat there for 2 hours eating a breakfast burrito and then drinking coffee. Funny guy, Sequoia. So tired. Hiking is harder than I remember. Having buddies around to make you laugh helps ease the pain in your feet. That’s for sure. Almost 200 miles in and I’m ready for some pals. 


DAY 14, slice of pie, o my

March 17, Oracle chalet 205.2, hiked 16 miles 

Got into town at about 1:30. Just hiked and hiked up and down up and down until I got there. Didn’t really know how hungry I was until Marnie (the owner of the chalet and a trail angel) gave me a slice of cherry rhubarb pie and I ate it in the privacy of my room like a slice of pizza made to save my life. Could hardly stand in the shower my ankle and feet were so tender. Rolled the hurt ankle about 5 miles into the day. Was so upset it happened again. Not nearly as bad, but it sure hurt to re-stretch it. The chalet. My little paradise. 35 dollars for a lil A-frame cabin to call mine. Spread out. Clean stuff. Take out my stitches. Drink coffee. Do laundry. Go eat a massive chimichanga with 3 other hikers. All older. All LOVELY. Then back to the room. TV. Bed. Foot soak. Never wanted to leave. But the time always comes to go.


DAY 15, up up up

March 18

Flag ranch to Summerville 14 miles up up up

The views were breath taking on the way up. Did I say up? yeah. Up. Some parts were so steep and rocky I couldn’t imagine how you’d even pick your way down without tumbling and just rolling to the bottom. I got to Summerville too late to go to the store. The town is more like a little collection of mountain homes with a country store that opens mid day. A lunch town. No dinner. No breakfast. So I missed it by a half hour or so. The top, once there, was very cold. But, after wandering around and trying to figure out the best spot to sleep (the welcome center bathroom was not looking very appealing to me) I walked back a half mile to the fire station, knocked on the door, it was dark by now, and asked the fellas if I could just set up next to the station. They were happy to offer the space. 


DAY 16, Summervile chill

March 19

Wake up, camped next to the fire hall. Wander slowly into town, sleepy town that doesn’t wake til 10. Charge phone in the bathroom hallway of the visitor center and meet Ben. I love his smile. His relaxed easy smile. His way of laughing at the things I said. Met a few other hikers at the general store. Free coffee!! Then, just as I was about to go, the pull of social interaction won and I found myself sitting at the cookie cabin with 4 other hikers. Shooting the shit. Hike out at 1 reluctantly, wishing I was heading in the other direction and camping with the crew. Really not excited to head in the opposite direction down one mountain to hop up over the other by myself. Didn’t want to go off alone. hike shy of 10 miles by 6ish. Hard going. So slow on up hills. Hard to breath. Legs feel like led but also strong. Trail rocky and snowy and rooty and steep. No speed. The second you start moving fast something either trips you or tries to trip you or you lose your breath or get hit in the leg or face with a sharp branch. Water everywhere. Melting snow. Such a beautiful sound. Found myself cranky while hiking. Observed it. Why? Because it felt exhausting. Because I felt lonely. Because my feet hurt. But it was the perfect temperature. It was pretty. I am strong. 

Today is N’s* birthday. He’s 34 now. I still think about him. I think about how much I loved him and I wonder if he knows. I think about how incredible my feelings for him were. I thought about him today without even realizing it was his birthday. I thought about how much he shaped who I am. Me feeling like I wasn’t good enough for him drove me to be something weird. Something out of the ordinary. 

*childhood friend and collage sweetheart


DAY 17, thank you for the creeks

March 20

Skipped 2 miles in the middle with a hitch. Considered it a morale booster. 

I struggled today. Struggled to find joy in the trail, in the walking. I felt like the trail was trying to rip me open. Rocks. Trees. Branches. Pokey things. Creeks. The creeks. Thank you for the creeks. It was hot with still air and the creeks were a saving grace. Happy to have to walk through them. There were moments when I felt so beat that the only thing I could echo in my head was skinny skinny skinny. To remember that this is helping me get back into the body I like was the only thing I could think of to remind myself that I liked what I was doing. I daydreamed about how good it felt to be at the chalet in oracle. My little room. Coffee. Bed. Pie. Shower. But it was good because I walked there. Having a trail community is glorious. They pull you forward when you need to be pulled. They make you laugh when you’re down. It’s a struggle being the only voice in your head. The only motivation. No one to laugh at the ridiculousness of this whole thing. Walking every day all day. How insane. 


DAY 18, proud of you

March 21st

the sky was on fire last night and so were my feet.
Climbing up and over a mountain on this trail is no joke. I feel like the azt is trying to rip me open, push push push me to find some hidden warrior strength, shove sharp pokey things into my split open body and then somehow still show me something beautiful

I hiked 25 miles up and over mica Mt. Hiked in the night and ran into javalinas. They smell awful. But I did it. And I was proud of myself. Of my strength. My biggest day yet was with the biggest climb. Nice, linz. Proud of you. At one point I really felt like I was crashing. I was part way down, only had another 8 miles to go, it was maybe 4:30. Part of me felt like I needed to just push and the other part said NO. SIT. The miles can happen when you feel better. So I sat. And I made dinner and a coffee. A creek flowing nearby. The air crisp. And I felt relieved at how good it made me feel. How relaxed and rejuvenated it felt. Saw two people, weekenders, and then an hour later I was on my way, making the final big push to get out of the park boundary so I could camp legally. The sun set was jaw dropping. I listened to podcasts, got a groove going, and felt like a bad ass hiker babe. 


DAY 19, chats and errands

March 22nd 

Walked a few miles with a dead phone and had paper maps to tell me where I was at. Love a good map. Ran into three old fellas that really got me laughing. First one, could tell he wanted a chat so I hung round and he told me a bit about himself. 89. Out for a hike with his friends. They stroll up and things got more playful. I yelled out as they were walking up “what are you doing out here” and the one answers as he hobbled his way up the trail “o Welp, they let us out of the home” they way he said it implied he was in an old folks home for loonies and they finally freed him… HeHe was a funny one. I hope I go for walks with my friends when I’m old. 

Got to a dirt road and started walking that way to get to Vail because it was shorter than the trail and I wanted my mail and food asap. Ended up getting a ride into town with a nice guy that just had open heart surgery. I love it when you get into a car and people tell you about the real grit of their life because they’re inspired by your way of life and feel like they can be real with you…to talk about their dreams and adventures and struggles. Said he smoked 3 packs a day and then stopped cold turkey a month ago when he found out he had to have his heart worked on. People make changes when they get scared. 

Got my mail. Ate a breakfast burrito. Had a blizzard. Talked on the phone with Cheesy and then got an Uber into Tucson. Last round at the leader house*. Trip to rei with the work van. New clothes for trail on my rei dividend and then sent a box of things home that I realized didn’t make sense to carry. Things need to have more than one purpose. I tried a sleeping bag liner because I was afraid of being cold. Didn’t like it much. I’d rather have good warm comfortable clothes. Can’t wear a liner around town when you’re doing laundry. 

*leader house- work supplied housing for staff running trips in the region, available for employees to stay at when visiting the region as well


DAY 20, the cows won

March 23rd, final flip flop, On trail at mile 300ish camped picket post trail head. 

Cows in the brush. Stressing me out. Will they spook and trample my tent? Eat me? Pee on me? Don’t they sleep? It’s dark. Go to bed cows. When animals or things are not predictable they are a little scary. 

Took an Uber here. Got annoyed with the logistics and spent the money on a ride. Waaaaaaay too much. Whatever. I haven’t had to pay for hotels so there’s that. So many sounds. Bug sounds that I like. I hate still air. 

An hour later- Dude. So. The cows won. I couldn’t take it. Hearing them breathing and munching and mooing. I could see their eyes hooverin. Just watching me. Willing me to leave so they could eat all night in peace. So I threw my crap in my bag, and lifted my set up tent with pad and sleeping bag in it over my head and walked down the trail a quarter mile to set up closer to the trail head. Hopefully cows hate cars and pit toilets. 

My 300 mile nobo flip flop sobo has had so much variety (more than I expected), heaps of great views and many physical and emotional challenges! Back to nobo from mile 300, but before I head out, a list of the stats:
1 sprained ankle
4 stitches on the knee
3 days recouping with pct pal Guac
1 decapitated javelina
2 hours solo of night hiking with all the glowing eyes in the desert
3 mountains over 8k with snowy bits
1 jumping chola stuck in my shin
5 hundred cows
1 case of upper thigh chubby chaff
Swamp butt almost everyday
200 bunnies
0 blisters
3 cases of trail magic
Fiery sunsets almost every night
1 case of pee pants
Endless love for coffee on trail
20 mile/day average=feels like 40


DAY 21, The day I almost got shot and saw a rattle snake. 

March 24, Camped 322.5, hike 22 miles. 

The almost getting shot part was really upsetting. Incredibly uncomfortable to think about what could have happened and really upsetting to think about what pieces of shit the shooters were. 

I was eating lunch by a creek. Beautiful spot. In the shade. Not long after I sat I heard shots close by, which took me a bit to know if it was a gun. Just couldn’t really tell at first. Then, once I realized it was, I just assumed they were responsible target shooters. Set your shit up against a dirt wall so your bullets land. Just like I would do in the woods. And then I heard a bullet go wizzing past me. Just like in the movies. No mistaking the sound. Holy shit. Started to get my stuff together, shoes on, getting the hell out. Still in disbelief. But then there was another one. High pitch wiz. So close. So I started yelling at the top of my lungs. Stop shooting. There is a person here. Stop shooting. Stop. The shooting stops. And I, still in total disbelief scramble up to the dirt road and half run to where I thought they were. Just as I get there, not even a hundred yards down the road, maybe 50, they are driving off- away from me. Not driving to come see if they shot me, if I’m ok, to apologize. Fleeing. I start yelling “what the hell?! Are you shooting guns?” “no, we were just hiking up the creek, there were some guys here though. Are you ok” fucking liars. I pretty much just yelled “no I had fucking bullets wizzing past my head.”

The thing that bothers me the most is that they lied and that they weren’t coming to see if I was shot. Just getting the fuck out of there. Also. Learn how to shoot a fucking gun safely if you’re going to go out and shoot cans. 

Also saw a western diamond back rattlesnake. Heard it before I saw it. They really blend in. But I’m glad they warn you. Give you a chance to make space for them. 

Snake

Hot and tired 

Almost got shot

Hiking through grass which gave me an allergic reaction. Legs so red and so itchy and eyes watering and itchy 

Steep ass climb at the end of the day on a Rocky trail overgrown with sharp branches and bushes. 

A big fuck you to the trail

Ending the day talking to myself sweetly. 

Linz, you’re doing great. You’re brave. Good job honey. You’re almost there. You will get to rest soon. I’m proud of you. 

NEARLY HALF WAY. Sunshine and fresh air doesn’t always equate happy! Would you like to hear a shit day story? If not, enjoy the cactus and stop reading now 🙂 The day starts happy. I’m refreshed. Coming off a town day filled with burritos and La Croix. Finally heading nobo again and I have a cherry coke in my pack. The climbing starts gradually. The heat from the sun is already fierce at 8am but there are beautiful steam crossings for me to dunk my hat in. I’m cruising along. Half roll my ankle in a cow track. Fuck. Why? I stop to tape her up better and commit to paying more attention to the ground. Moving along. Thoughts about my childhood. Reliving moments vividly OMYGODTHERESARATTLESNAKE! I heard him before I saw him, jumped back 3 steps and watched him relax and move off trail. Good boy. Good snake. But now I’m on high snake alert. Constantly checking my feet. Cautiously moving around boulders and shrubs. AWARE. After an hour of snake searching, I crossed a dirt road heavy with weekend atv traffic and just on the other side I come to a peacefully flowing creek with a big cotton wood tree on the bank for shade. I knew it was time for lunch break. Bring on the cherry coke, chips, and foot soaking. Settled in now, I start to hear gun shots. Ah crap. There goes the peaceful vibes. They’re close, but, I figure most people are responsible, right? Yeah. Right. Standing in the creek collecting water I hear the bang of the gun and then the high wiz of the bullet. You’ve got to be kidding. That’s not real right? But then another bullet whizzes by. Holy. Shit. Huddling behind the tree I yell at the top of my lungs down stream to stop shooting. Over and over…stop shooting! About 6 rounds later, the shooting and whizzing stops. Dumbfounded I scramble up the bank to the dirt road and start hauling ass down stream. To what? Beat them up? Who am I? Am I a maniac? A brave beast? The boys, driving away, fleeing the scene, make eye contact with me as I yell at them for almost shooting me. Well. Well. Deep breath. That happened and it was upsetting. I pack up and hike on and begin a good steep climb through a grassy meadow. It’s pretty. The trail is narrow and my legs are being rubbed by grass for hours. My fear of hidden snakes is vibrant but I distract myself as best I can.  pretty. Sweat. So much sweat. At the top of the grassy climb, I break to eat a snickers and that’s when I realize I’m having an allergic reaction to the grass. Who’s allergic to grass? Me. Right. My legs are bright red, itchy and swollen. My eyes are watering and I want to rub them out of my skull. Take an allergy pill, Moonshine, and hike to distract yourself. OK. OK. Hiking on. A beautiful smoothish road walk gives me a two mile breather and then the trail decides to mess with my head. The trail is a person at this point set to destroy me. To make me cry for help. I enter beast mode. And climb. So. Much. Climbing. Rocks everywhere. A trail that hardly resembles a trail. Up up up. Miles of overgrown trees ripping at my body and slapping me in the face. I push, barreling my way through all that is sharp and pokey, muttering under my breath you’ve got to be kidding me. And then. As the sun is setting, and I still have another mile of up with rocks and shrubs, I tell the trail for the first time “I hate you. Fuck. You” and it makes me feel better. Like a load was taken off my chest. I’m so tired, so overwhelmed by the day and then I catch myself talking aloud to myself… Being the best friend I needed. “Moonshine. You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you. Really. Honey. You’ve got this. You are so incredibly brave. I love you”


DAY 22, i hate you, i love you

March 25, Camped 344.2, hiked 21.7 miles

How is it that I can start at 7am, have 12 hours until sunset, and still only get 22 miles in with a little bit of night hiking? How? This trail is how. Forget switch backs. Just shoot straight down and then straight up. Lucky to get a mile and a half in an hour. And the sun is so intense. I told the trail I hated it today when I was slogging up a steep rocky climb. And I meant it. This trail is mean. I’m doing the whole thing. 

Camped with a human! Paul. Older gent from Ireland. Nice to have the company! I’m eager for it now. 


DAY 23, heat break

March 26, Camped 355.8, hiked 11.4

Popped into Roosevelt lake marina to get a box I mailed myself. And I ended up sitting there all morning and didnt leave til 2:30 because I couldn’t imagine climbing 3k feet in the heat. It was still hot when I left and I was instantly covered in sweat. Remember when I said I wanted to do something hard? Yeah. Well today I begged the trail to be easier. JUST. BE. EASIER. 

Decided I’m going to hitch into Payson even though it’s a 30 mile hitch. I just couldn’t muster carrying food for 115 miles of hard terrain. Was just going to hike from Roosevelt to Pine but I changed my mind when I was packing things up. Got rid of food even. A lot of it was free to me from work so I didn’t feel too bad about it. 


DAY 24, a gift

March 27, Camped 376.2, hiked 20.3

Slept by water last night and again tonight. The sound is so soothing. There’s someone else camped here. Somewhat comforting. Today had a breezy second half. Only little climbs and a fairly smooth dirt road walk along an attractive spine. And. It was overcast. What. A. Gift. The sunset took my breath away tonight.


DAY 25, town days

March 28th, Slept @ budget inn in payson

Hiked 11 miles 

Mmmmmmm town days. The hike to highway 87 wasn’t hard, just a bit overgrown in some parts, but still peaceful and pretty. Dropped down into a wide valley with streams and grasses. How I love streams. To dip the hat in at every crossing is pure bliss. I love it. I got to the highway around noon or so and the hitch was pretty quick. First ride was with a hilarious fella. Old guy. Slurred speech. He let me know right off the bat that he had had a stroke and wasn’t drunk. So interesting the people I meet from hitches. Got into Payson and grabbed a room. Met up with another hiker, Bear, that lives in town and had some food. I met him in Pategonia and have had a vague awareness of his location on trail because at one point I thought I’d catch up to him and I thought, upon first meeting, that maybe he could be a trail friend. Dinner was chill. Nothing really noteworthy. Bear took me to resupply. Then I went to my room and watched stupid TV. The kind that melts your brain. Had brief thoughts around how easy it would be to invite him to hang, have a few drinks, and then take things in that adult direction. But I didn’t think it was the best idea. Went to bed planning brekkie the next day and having Bear drive me back to trail.   


DAY 26, a trail pal!

March 29, Zero in Payson with a trip to Pine 

Fully intended on getting back to trail but Bear’s truck broke down in the motel parking lot. 2 or so hours later, after a few back and forth’s to O’reilys and we were hungry. He was due to pick up another hiker in a nearby trail town that I’d be hiking towards once back on trail. Well, what the hell. Most the day is gone by now and I’d only get 5 or so miles in, and, we came to realized that if I waited til the next day, Bear might be able to hike out and do the next stretch with me. Which was very appealing. I ended up at his house in the spare room and we planned to hike out together the next day once he confirmed that he was able to get work off. How exciting! A Trail pal! I was ready for the companionship.


DAY 27, community

March 30, Camped 403.3, hiked 16.5 

Change of pace. Hiked out with a person! A real, live person that intends to hike with me for the next leg! How fun to have a pal. Taking the zero in Payson put me in more of a bubble with other hikers as well. Slow squeeze. Dj. The Over the Hill couple. Bear. It’s fun to have folks to chat with at breaks. To feel like I’m a part of a community. Apparently folks talk about me. Word is I’m funny. I think I might just be.


DAY 28, shared silence

March 31, Camped 424.6, hiked 21.3

A lot of the day reminded me of the pct. The trail has a gentle grade in this section. Still got fairly rocky and ripped at my ankles but otherwise doable. Having company out here is fun. It’s fun to share this. Bearbox and I have kept pace with each other. He’s easy going and super easy to hike with. He is protecting his shin and I’m probably slowing him down from his regular pace, but thats good for him. We walk in silence mostly, sometimes chat, but mostly its just shared silence with the occasional funny little conversation. Absolutely perfect. 


DAY 29, another fall

April 1, Camped 445.3, hiked 20.9

flowers on the cliffside saved my from falling 300 feet

Hiking on a ridge today, steep downhill, rocky of course, my foot slipped out from under me and I fell off the trail! Started sliding and rolling down a steep hillside but I was able to flip around and grab the ground. Unbelievable! A little scratched, bruised, and shocked but fine otherwise. Felt bad that Bear had to witness that.


DAY 30, cravings for food and snuggles

April 2

Slept in Payson, hiked 15 miles to pine 461

We pushed to get into pine early because BURGER. And we did great! The trail let us keep a good pace. I say the trail let us because there are times, like yesterday, when the ground is flat and you think you are going to be able to fly but then you realize it’s 10 miles of mini ankel twisting rocks to pick your way through. We got to Pine. I was excited, happy, and ready to pick up my care package from Saranade*. We had margs, picked through the hiker box, ate ate, and, after feeling like we were the only hikers in town, we called up his mum for a ride back to Payson to shower and chill. Just after that, the crew of hikers that I had met when I was up on Mt Lemon showed up for beers. Exciting! Friends! We stayed a bit longer and then finally gave in to our tired bodies demands. Shower. Comfy clothes. Dinner. TV. 

And before I went to bed, I noticed I was nervous to be alone in the room late with Bear. Like I wanted to snuggle. To hug. To kiss. Not sure that that was smart, not sure that I should, that he would want to, I retreated to my guest bed. 

*Saranade- hiker pal from class of 2015


DAY 31, trailmance

April 3, Camped trail head pine 461, hiked 0

Accidental zero, drinks and drinks, and makin’ out in a truck after a week of trying not to make out. And o how fun it was. 

Bear and I drove back to Pine after breakfast in Payson, laundry, and packing and repacking stuff and my resupply shopping. The plan was to grab pizza at the pizza place in town, have a bloody mary, pack out half the pizza, and hike about 10 miles out together. He’d then hike back the next day because his work was starting back up. But instead, we joined the crew, had pizza, had more than just the one bloody, went over to the brewery for just ONE beer, had more than a few, and then camped at the trail head. 


DAY 32, not alone anymore

April 4, Camped 481.8 hiked 21

Just up the Mogollon Rim, camped with VP (Ben’s new trailname) and Lexi. Hiked alone all day and then just as I was about to look for a spot to camp I saw those two camped and happily joined them. Filtered water from a puddle of meted snow.


DAY 33, fun

April 5, Camped 508, hiked 26 

Night hiked an hour and camped with Mean Spaghetti and VP. These two were down with doing a bigger day with me so we could get to Mormon Lake tomorrow night in time for me to get my shoes I mailed myself before the store closed and possibly secure a cabin to sleep in for the night- because fun and comfort make hiking the best. Passed Mile 500 today and had a nice little photo shoot. 

The time when we walked 500 miles but it felt more like 5,000!
The trail heard my cries (more like begs) for cooler weather and gentle climbs. And! Other hikers to camp with! Fun
!


DAY 34, cabin and cold beans

April 6, Camped 533.5 hiked 27

Mormon lake cabin! 

Shared with Mean Spaghetti, VP, Lexi, and Bear -(he drove up for the night!). I love sleeping in someones arms.

Got up and moving an hour earlier than normal because my goal was to get to Mormon lake before 5pm so I could get my shoes and resupply before the store closed. Seemed like a nice goal and I wanted to get some miles done finally with the trail offering up some flat. About 15 to 20 miles out from town, the trail started to get really muddy, making for some gross hiking. About 7 miles from town I crossed a paved road and decided to bail from the trail and road walk the rest of the way in. I knew I was aiming to get a cabin and I texted Bear to let him know, just in case he wanted to drive up to hang out. The distance was about the same and I was tired of sliding around in the mud, so, I road walked. Called family. Emergency pooped in the ditch. Got to town around 4:45, perfect. NEW SHOES!!! Walked into the store and grabbed a bag a tortilla chips and queso and a coke and a can of baked beans went to town on them. I was so hungry. I hadn’t eaten since like 10. Cold baked beans are surprisingly delicious. Shortly after, Mean Spaghetti showed up, just as I was grabbing the keys to a cabin I booked for us. I couldn’t imagine having to walk back out to the trail. Nope. Cabin! O hot showers are so great. It was a great night. Bear showed up, VP and Lil Slugger (Lexi’s new trail name) joined. Bear brought beer and pizza and we watched “Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” I fell asleep wrapped in Bear’s arms, content, warm, and full. 


DAY 35, fever

April 7 , Camped 548.4, hiked 11 miles 

Woke up in a cabin snuggled up next to an adorable boy. I love the way his face rests so easily in my neck. But ooooo my neck. The. Worst. Sore. Throat. Kinda nauseated. Lymph nodes so swollen. Headache. Maybe a fever? What happened? Where did this come from?

VP is the first to rouse from bed at 9am and its almost funny how quickly that puts the other hikers into motion. VP up and moving slowly about, 30 seconds later sleeping pads deflating and chatter. Universal ‘how to make a group of sleeping hikers move” move is just have one of them stand up. We soaked up the glory of the cabin for the allotted time and headed to the trail by 11:30, me doped up on dayquill and caffeine. I had Bearbox drive me up to a spot where the road provided easy access to the trail and gave me a few miles boost for the day and some alone time on the trail. The trail was gentle and pretty, following an old railroad bed last used 100 years ago. Really interesting. 

Set up camp at 4:30 seeing as the last mile took a tremendous amount of energy I didn’t seem to have. Hiking when you’re sick is the pits. But laying in your tent. Dozing in the sun. Not bad. The night was a struggle. Up every hour, feverish, sore. Peeing a lot and drinking a lot. 


DAY 36, sweet sweet bed

April 8, Camped in a Flagstaff hotel, hiked 21-22 miles 

Sick sick lil hiker. Slept in a bit. Took dayquill. Drank coffee. Contemplating the day. Beautiful and relaxing. VP and mean spaghetti hiked by around 8am as I slowly broke down my camp. They drank a beer from a nearby beer cash and chatted as I slowly got my shit together and then we were off after we all drank some coke. 16 or so miles to the junction and another 4 or 5 to a hotel. Just follow VP. OK. I can do that. It was a hard flat day still done before 5 but damn. It was a push for me. VP told me I looked very haggard. Could tell I was struggling. 

Burger King for dinner. 45 dollar room. Shower for an hour. Bed. Bed. Sweet bed. I sweat so much in the middle of the night I had to shower at 3 am. Ew. 


DAY 37, to the docs I go

April. 9, FLAGSTAFF ZERO #1

Decided this illness needed the eyes of a doc. Urgent care first thing today and $300 later I was informed I had strep throat. One dose of steroid. Antibiotics. Ibuprofen. Rest. Water. Well ok then. Will. Do. This trail. Has cost me so much for health related things. But I’m just rolling with it. How do I have strep? I’ve not been around anyone with it. Unless the cute boy I canoodled with carries it and doesn’t show it. 

Bear showed up at midnight. Drove up after work. We talked for a few hours, heads in each other’s laps, before moving onto other activities. I like his company. 

“The part where it hasn’t killed me yet!”
So I’m down for the count a lil bit (again). This time terrain cut me a break (no falling!), but my immune system did not. Ah well. Rolling with the punches. You have to. I have the gift of community around me, I have support from you all, and I have just the right amount of time (once these antibiotics kick in) to KICK THIS TRAIL’S ASS! A little more than 200 miles left. Plenty of trees in my future and hikers and a thing called the Grand Canyon. But for now… Bed


DAY 38, rest, snuggles, burritos

April 10, Another zero. 

It was stormy outside. Windy. Cold. Mountains socked in. And another day to get stronger was a good idea. A full day of fun with Bear. Snuggles. Giggling. Talking. It was a fun day. Had brunch at a Mexican place that blew my mind. So delicious. Wandered around flagstaff. Gear shops. Coffee. Time with VP as well. 


DAY 39, beautiful and cold

April 11, Camped 618, hiked 15.5 miles 

Bear dropped me off further up trail, skipping maybe 15 or 20 miles. Deadlines. Sickness. Cuddles. It all works out in the end. I didn’t start hiking til about 1 and the miles and time went quickly even though I was wandering through snow for the first 8 miles or so. It felt fun almost. And it was beautiful. Cold. I hiked in my puffy. Lost in thought. Happy to be walking. Happy to be sharing myself with people. Feeling open to the sweetness that comes into my life. 


DAY 40, bigger days

April 12, Camped 645.2 hiked 27.2

Pretty much a flat road walk winding it’s way through open land with stormy skies all around. Only got stuck in bad weather once. Wind. Some sleet. Nothing too bad. Lasted maybe a half hour. Today was pleasant and whenever it’s pleasant I’m thankful. 


DAY 41, conflicting feelings

April 13, 668.2 Grandview lookout TH, hiked 23

Mr. Fun showed up today to join me on the trail, and while it was exciting, it was also something I was feeling very conflicted over. I like him, but I’m pretty sure I don’t see us heading towards what we had been hoping for. And. I have Bear on my mind.

But. Here he is. And it felt fun today to find him on trail. The way he joyfully calls out my name makes me smile “MOOooOONSHINE!” He had hot dogs and chili and beer! He took my pack so I could get in some more miles. But then I tripped like right away and ripped my knee to shreds. So sore. So bloody. Took a whole layer of skin off. That ended my hopes of hiking more that night. Mr. Fun was super sweet and helped me clean it up. We drove around in his car trying to figure out if we were camping or going to a hotel. We ended up camping, using his cool car set up.


DAY 42, slack pack and skips

April 14, hiked/ran 10ish miles. skipped about 10 miles. 

Slack packed a lot today with the help of Mr. Fun- even ran about 5 miles of trail- and then got into Tusayan. At about noon I decided to just pop into town rather than hike the 3 miles left in because 1- Mr. Fun was there and I was feeling bad about not spending quality time with him 2-I didn’t have time to hike the miles to the Grand Canyon back country station in time to get a permit situated and if I’m already skipping 6 miles, what’s another 3 more. Honestly, having Mr. Fun there kept me from hiking. I would have done it were he not there and in some ways I’m slightly bitter, but the fault is mine- not his. When we got into town, we went to Wendy’s. The burgers were fantastic. Ha. Then we went to secure a permit for the Grand Canyon. Once we got there, I found out that we would have to wait to go down the following day because there weren’t any available spaces in the canyon that night. My hope had been to hike down, camp, and then hike up to the north rim the next day. So, rather than hang around the rest of the afternoon smelly and dirty, we decided to get a room, clean up, and spend time cuddle time together. It felt really good to be with him, but my heart was conflicted because: complicated.

Couldn’t shake feeling like my hike was done and the rest of the trail would be us navigating what our relationship would be, logistics, bumping around, not being with other azt hikers, and just worrying about getting done in time to catch my flight home. I was anxious.


DAY 43, the GRAND CANYON

April 15, hiked 690.6-712.6 – 22 miles 

Wowee. It is really so beautiful. I loved the hike. Down down down the rim and all the way up. 

We woke up early and left the room by 5am. Swung by McDonalds for a egg mcmuffin and a coffee and then parked Mr. Fun’s car at the south rim, caught the bus to the trail head, took a poop in the pit toilet, and started the long descent down. I almost had a mini heart attack when Mr. Fun tripped and nearly fell into the canyon, but other than that- It. Was. Beautiful. I tried to just think about how great the trail was and enjoy Fun’s company but there were a lot of moments that had me thinking about my feelings for him and how I felt like I needed to tell him I knew we were destined for friendship despite all of the reasons why we’d be good together. That realization bummed me out. I wish I had had it before I agreed to having him join me on my hike so he could come out with the right expectations. It didn’t feel fair to him. I felt like a total jerk.

But the trail. So lovely. I’d hike it again gladly. We got to the north rim around 6pm, burnt out after 21 miles, and welcomed there with snow and cold temps. Ended up sleeping in a tiny bathroom at the backcountry station with Mr. Fun (so tiny that when I shifted on my sleeping pad the hand dryer would turn on!) while a few other hikers cowboy camped just outside on the patio. I went to sleep slightly agitated in anticipation of the long uncomfortable road walk and probably feeling off because I just felt shitty about not being able to give Fun more than a friendship.


DAY 44, a hitch out of the snow storm

April 16, North rim to Jacob Lake 25ish miles camped 770.8

Road walked today. Started off walking with Cake, Longhaul, and Natgeo. Mr. Fun hiked south back through the grand canyon to get his car and drive around to the finish to pick me up. After a few miles I separated from the boys and kept myself occupied listen to one podcast after the other. It felt nice to walk alone knowing that there were others out there doing the same thing as me. The north rim was snow covered and cold and stormy. I got about 15/16 miles of cold ass snowy road walking in and some fellas working on plowing the road stopped and asked if I needed anything. They gave me a ride the rest of the 25 miles to Jacob lake, saving me from some real misery. I had a burger, drank a lot of coffee, felt sad about missing miles, and then got back on trail where there wasn’t any snow. Got another 9 miles in before the sun set and got my tent set up in a beautiful silver field. My last night on trail. It felt sad. It felt like it wasn’t ending properly. Like my hike actually ended back in Flagstaff when I said goodbye to Bear and the miles I did and didn’t do don’t count towards anything. 


DAY 45, to utah

April 17 , last day, hiked 18 miles 

looking into Utah

I wanted to dive into my head and think about the trail, about my time post trail, but for some reason I needed a lot of podcasts for the bulk of the day because my mind felt like a place that was confused without understanding why it was confused. I felt agitated. And I know it was because I felt like the last few days of the trail didn’t feel like being on trail. I missed miles. I missed the azt hikers I liked hiking with. I missed Bear. I was just kinda like, welp, this thing happened I guess. 

There were a few good moments. I had a really nice slow morning. Spent time relaxing in my tent. Drank coffee and really did not feel pressure to get up and moving until I felt good and ready to. Watched the sun come up over the trees. It was beautiful and peaceful. A really nice last morning. Then I hiked the easy trail to the border. The views getting even better the closer I got to Utah. Totally looked like Utah. Red Cliffs. Pretty. Different. I wish I had felt excited the way that I did when I was on the pct. But it didn’t feel like the right finish. First time a thru hike that I walked up to a border and wasn’t with anyone. It felt very bland and I felt cheated somehow from my glorious exciting finish.

I started getting eager to leave. I was excited for Mr. Fun to show up and we would get out, go to a town, shower, have margs. Celebrate. Kiss maybe. Well. Our ideas did not line up. There was a lot of tension. He had ideas about what he wanted to do- which was stay and wait for other hikers to show up and give trail magic to. It really frustrated me because I couldn’t understand how people he had just met had become so important when he clearly had come to hike on my hike with ME and what I wanted was to leave. Go do the next thing. He wanted to stay and wait for other hikers to come through. I was like- ‘Mr! We are going to be sitting here for a full day and a half then! I SKIPPED ROAD WALK MILES! No one else did! If I knew you were set on waiting around for these other hikers I would have just stayed out on trail another day and kept hiking in the shit storm!’ Hello, I’m Moonshine, and I’m a brat. Tension. Back and forth- but trying to be kind and holding back a lot while communicating. Trying to understand why he was so fixated on staying around. Trying to see from his perspective and feeling very selfish at the same time. It took a bit but he fessed up his feelings fully the next morning and I understood. I had hurt him.

We had compromised- went to town for the night and then went back to the trail head the next day to give trail magic to the other hikers behind me (he had spent a lot of money on food and booze!) and it ended up being a nice day. It was nice to be at the end when I was in a better mood and more aware of how Mr. Fun was feeling and why. 

So it wasn’t the end that I wanted. Mr. Fun helped me walk through my feelings around it. I had this urgency to leave the trail to run from my shame around not having hiked EVERY mile. I didn’t feel like I earned the celebration. The terminus was a reminder that I had failed. BUT the hike still happened. I still did something really great. I worked hard. It was challenging. I hurt. I bled. I didn’t cry! I was brave and learned to rely more on myself. Learned that I like having people around when I hike and I like being alone, too, but maybe two weeks is my max. I’d do it again. And I will be back in the fall to pick up the miles that I had to miss, to make it complete.

That was somethin!
.
What can I say besides holy shit? Well, a fair amount actually!
I did something very hard and simultaneously experienced beautiful, stunning places that felt like a gift from god. I faced obstacles I could not have expected and came out on the other side better for them. I practiced truly loving myself and being the friend I needed when there was no one around to hold me up. I opened myself up to receiving love from those around me and o how lovely it was. I felt vulnerable and it didn’t break me. I lost the weight I gained when I was sick and I feel stronger. I feel brave. I am not afraid of being alone. I feel loved. I feel beautiful. I’m lucky, privileged, and thankful. I moved through feelings of disappointment when my injuries, illness and deadline prevented me from being able to hike every mile of the trail and realized I can still be proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished.
A year ago I was sick and still struggling with a vestibular disorder. I had no idea if I’d ever experience moving through the world again without feeling dizzy/off balance/nauseated/anxious. Well. I just did. Over 700 miles of movement on the most intense trail I’ve ever been on! And that, in and of itself, is glorious


Oct 7, 2019- Tie Up loose Ends

Get her done.
Finishing the miles on the Kaibab plateau that I missed last spring when I bailed out of a snowstorm. And wow. The aspens!
Today is PCT trailversary #2 (or #1 depending on how ya look at it)! Finished my 1st PCT hike 4 years ago today. I’ve been thinking about it as I’ve walked today and one word I keep coming back to is love. I fell in love with the trail, with myself, with my life, and with a boy on these hikes. There was a lot of fear and feelings of loss to deal with after the trail was done. Adjusting. Planning. Figuring stuff out. Heartbreak and longing in more ways than one. But I think I can FINALLY honestly say I’ve come out better for it. I don’t get sad anymore on my #trailversary. I just feel thankful. Lucky. Amazed.

AZT 2019: Kaibab Platue to the Grand Canyon. 3 days, 17 miles, 23 miles, 24 miles with a pretty big canyon in the mix! Needless to say, after a summer of leading only day hikes, my legs are worked after this.
But she’s done. Arizona trail hiked!
Stats for this past section:
3 bloody noses.
1 day of the shits.
2 baby deer.
1 very big canyon.
Thousands of changing Aspen.
4 jacob lake cookies.
1 brief trail reunion
Amazing trail angel magic

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